All of this happened to me when I was 14 and 1/2 years old ( Young wasn’t I? ). Before then, I was just 'finding Nemo': Wondering aimlessly.
I know that my life was meant for bigger and greater things because ..
When I was young-err, lol, my mom told me that she had to fight to have me! 9 months of told hell from loved ones. So much so that at times she thought that she was going insane. It was a fierce battle for my life! She told me that three times before my birth, my life was in jeopardy, with 2 abortion attempts ( not any fault of my mother’s) and to top that off when I was finally born, the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. The doctor actually said that if I stayed in the womb one more minute I would have been double D, dead!
But wait! There's more ...
After I was born I was supposed to be adopted. My
adoption parents were actually present at the hospital to collect me. But
my mom just could not give me up. I was too chubby and too cute :).
As you can see, Satan tried several times to destroy my life but it could not work. God had other plans.
Being the youngest in a family of six, when I was growing up I was felt alone, misunderstood and different. I felt like no one cared. I'm sure you can relate to some of these feelings right?
I could remember having some really strong fits of depression. I would go for weeks just being depressed. At one time everything would seem ok, then at another time everything seemed like too much to bear. I just wanted not be born. After all, what was the use of me taking up space on the earth. I cried constantly and just separated myself from others.
Bad turned to worse when one day I watched a picture with a young lady that used to cut herself and I decided to try it. That’s when I became a secret cutter. I would give myself tiny cuts in order to release a little pain. It of course did not work, so I tried poetry as an outlet for my emotions which gave me a temporary release but never for long.
I was young, but boy I could party!
And there seemed to be a party almost every other week.
I turned to parties, dances, and 'night-outs' but that did not satisfy my need either. I was a member of what you might call ‘the popular kids crew’ in school, but to me, I felt like I was just following the crowd. Doing what they did and saying what my friends said. I never really felt like I fit in.
I was searching for something, but I had no clue what it was. All I knew was that I had a void, an emptiness inside me, that nothing could fill. Nothing.
What compounded the issue was that the parties that once used to seem awesome, I didn't enjoy anymore. Instead of dancing in dimly lit rooms, I found myself just sitting on the steps, counting the time so that I could leave. Yes, I was always with crowds of people but I felt all alone.
Deep down I really wasn't, and did not want to be the person that I was pretending to be.
I was an avid church goer. My mom was a Christian so every time the door was opened, I was there. There were a handful of times when I felt the desires to say yes to Jesus, but avoiding it at all cost. Most times, I had no clue what was going on and was never too interested to find out.
Then out of the blue, I found myself getting interested in what the preacher was saying.
One day I heard a sermon. The joke about it is that I cannot even remember what the message was; but it changed my life. I was so pricked, that it was like hammering a thousand nails into my heart. I wanted to cry then and there. I said to myself, let me try Jesus. Let me see if he can fix my situation. I really was ready for a change.
I went to the altar, got saved, and cried like a baby. It was sweet release!
And let me tell you this, from that time onward it was me an Jesus. He really became my friend and the father that I never had.
And he did fix it. I was no longer in a heavy state of depression.
No joke. No Lie. HE DID!
Jesus has completely and totally satisfied me. All emptiness…gone! The loneliness...gone! He filled my life and made it worth living. Without Him I truly have no clue where I would be today. Saying yes to Jesus was the best decision that I have ever made.
Listen to me.. You are somebody! Chosen for greatness!
It is no accident that you are here right now. Greatness is your destiny! Complete and true wholeness through Jesus Christ. A life of purpose. If I can get you to see who you really are in Him! My, what a change ...
I am therefore introducing you to the only God and he WORKS! He is still in the saving and delivering business. Accept Jesus today and let Him make the difference in your Christian life. You know..many may call this just a simple Christian testimonial. I call it, true FREEDOM!
Do you have a great story as well? Share it!